This may come across as more of a complaint than I intend.  Obviously anytime someone gives a gift they should be thanked and the gift enjoyed.  But, having had twins now for almost 10 years, there are a few gifting mistakes that folks without twins tend to make consistently and that are fairly universally viewed negatively by twins and twin parents.

So, in reverse order, here are four twin gifting fails.

4.  Failing to adhere to the same vs different established toy protocol.  This one is tough because each family’s rules are different.  But, families with twins, especially same gender twins around preschool age, have a preference here.  Either their twins are used to having their own version of every toy so they don’t fight over them.  Or, they’re used to having two similar toys that likely end up shared so there’s more variety.

As they get older, if you would like to give two gifts, two similar games is better than two copies of the same one.

Or, as their interests develop, two similar valued items targeted at the interests of each child.

3. Wrapping two different valued toys together on the assumption they will share both.  Twin children automatically assume one toy is for each child, even if they will be shared eventually.  They know when one is of substantially higher value than the other so the one who unwraps the lesser item is always let down.  Don’t add a small item just so there are two things.  One shared present is fine, so long as it is a shareable item like a game, tent, large container of blocks, or such.

2. Which brings us to the next issue.  LEGOs are not shareable toys.  Please do not buy one large LEGO set to share; two smaller ones will be much more appreciated.  Yes, the big sets are expensive and more eye popping for kids.  But, twins do not want to work together, alternating pieces on a LEGO set even if they can be convinced to do LEGO at the same time.  I have yet to run across a LEGO set where sections are designed to be built in parallel, though that would be an interesting idea for LEGO to explore with the really large sets.

1. Finally, please do not buy two items and wrap them in one piece of paper with both names.  I’ve seen this with similar and identical items.  It’s a bad look, and the kids know.  Twins are individuals and would like to be treated as such.  You went to the trouble of purchasing two gifts.  The least you could do is wrap them separately with their own names.  Pick one for each child (they will automatically switch if they want).  Unwrapping the gift is at least half the fun.

It’s very different having twins after a singleton, vs having twins first.  You have a toddler to deal with, which necessitates different activities.  More relevant to this discussion, though, is that you already have some things and you’ve developed preferences for what you actually use.

Here goes on the double question (after a singleton). Some of this will depend on your preferences.

I need 2 of: car seat, crib, pack n play, high chair, bouncy seat.  Most of these are safety issues so they can’t really be debated.  I think most people would like a second bouncy seat, vs other locations for infants, but there is some personal preference here.

Need more of, but not double: bibs, crib sheets (I went from 4 total to 6 total), bottles (personally I like to only have to wash once per day, but that’s up to you)

Nice to have with twins that I didn’t have with one: swing (one is enough as your child might not like it anyway but they’re great when there’s one adult and they’re both crying), two bumbos.  Not everybody likes the bumbos, but I found them invaluable for storytime with three.  I could set them up in front of me like you see at library storytime vs trying to cram them all on my lap.  That never worked very well.

Things you likely have that you don’t need more of: activity mat, exersaucer/jumper, changing pad covers (assuming you have more than 2 already), carrier so you can carry one and put the other in the stroller/shopping cart/etc (unless both adults are willing to carry).

You’ll also need a double stroller, or triple if your kids are too close together.  I’d vote for the double if at all possible.  If necessary you can put one twin and the older one in the stroller and carry the twin.  The older one will learn to walk soon enough and triple strollers are even more expensive and bulky than doubles.

My oldest turned two right when our twins were born. My super practical recommendation is to think about where you go by yourself and how you will navigate those places with three kids. Fundamentally, there will be places that go off your list until the twins can walk.

It is key to determine who does, and does not have automatic doors. You’ll be amazed at all the doors that are a complete pain in the ass with a double stroller that weren’t so bad with a single. You basically have to wait for someone rather than wiggle yourself and the stroller through a manual door.

Second, think about places that your oldest likes that you can manage with two buckets and no stroller. Yes, you get even more stares than with a double stroller! But, I found it doable to carry one bucket in each hand pretty much until they outgrew them; you’re actually better balanced than with one. So, places like McDonald’s where you can park right near a door and then just plunk everyone down at a table make for good outings. The grocery store is also manageable if you can put your oldest in the plastic car, one bucket on top, and the second baby in a bucket in the basket or a carrier. My oldest liked being in charge of the canned goods and other stuff he could stash in the car without worry.

Finally, get to know the drivethroughs. I’m not talking about fast food here, but banks and other errands that don’t require getting the kids out of the car. It helps to have a stash of these types of errands in the car for when they all fall asleep. I kept a crossword or such for myself also in case I ended up just parked someplace.

The oldest may or may not be helpful with the twins.  The twins will learn to walk at some point.  At some later point they will learn to walk together; this is your big goal and will really enable you to go places you’ve left off your list for years.

Tomorrow is Little League Opening Day.  A much bigger to-do is made of this than it really needs with the parade, speeches, and such.  We do tend to skip those.  But, what it really means is that my six weeks of spring sports schedule hell (with a small respite on Memorial Day weekend) is beginning.  There will be very few family dinners and Saturdays the adults will be split to handle the two sets of activities.  Starting tomorrow most weeks we will have:

Monday evening – soccer practice for oldest; baseball game for twins (thankfully they’re on the same team); unfortunately these are at the same time, but not the same place so I’ll have to sort out how everyone is getting where they need to be

Tuesday evening – meeting for Mom (different each week, but somehow, thankfully, all on Tuesday which doesn’t have another conflict)

Wednesday evening – baseball game for oldest

Thursday evening – soccer practice for oldest

Saturday (needs a list) – soccer & baseball games x three kids

Sunday – baseball practice for oldest

Amazingly, we have very few conflicts.  We were anticipating having to make some tough decisions with the increased time commitments required of 3^rd grade sports.

Everyone’s budget and definition of frugal is different, but I’ll try to throw out a few thoughts.

I buy specific brands for a few things:
Gap/Gymboree/Lands End for pants because of fit/wear
Carters for pajamas because of fit
new brand names for shoes/boots (Stride Rite, New Balance, etc.) for fit/wear

That being said, I know when the clothing brands I buy are on their best sales of the year and buy what I need then, even if its off season. I also don’t buy shoes every 3 months, I don’t even go in to get them fitted until I think they need new ones. This means we do usually skip a size (or 2). But, I’ve found the brand names shoes do wear better than the cheap stuff.

Through size 5T, I shop a lot at Target. I’ve been very happy with their Circo brand for shirts, shorts (not pants), swimwear, and snow gear.  Once they hit kindergarten/size XS its a different story and I go elsewhere.

I don’t shop Craigslist/ebay/etc and I barely shop consignment sales/stores.  The exception is Gap chinos which one of mine likes to wear everyday and which are often readily available in excellent condition at consignment sales if I happen to be there.

Finally, I would say think about what you need. And try things on every season to confirm that it really does need to be replaced vs the size on the tag. We do very well on 4-6 outfits per child. It does mean doing laundry more often, but its still the same number of loads. And, they have favorites. Even though I can, and do, use hand-me-downs I prefer to have one child use up the item so the next gets the new/preferred version.